Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Are we still banned from the library?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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