So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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