I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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