If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
