If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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