roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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