i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
