you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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