I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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