i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
