Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
