some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
