I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I need to sanitize my soul.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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