Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
