lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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