his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
