Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
