She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
