Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
