belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
