Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
