It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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