I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The struggles of a small town man whore
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
