he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
