Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
