I accidentally had phone sex last night
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
