Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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