ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
