Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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