He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
