You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
