420 ftw
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
