You can't motorboat a personality
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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