Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
