You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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