i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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