So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
