Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
