watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
