Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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