the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
