so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
