At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
