This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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