Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
