Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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