I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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