I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
