thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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