I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
