put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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